Like Dream Follows Nightmare
May. 29th, 2024 07:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ryanreactsMonday was one of the worst days of my entire life. The Meeting was such a stupid idea. Maria said the words, "Tory's a dang baby" to us MONTHS AGO. Frankie learned that Tory doesn't listen and does talk in circles MONTHS AGO. Why, oh fucking why, did I actually think that all of my righteous fury would somehow convince him to listen to me? He. Is. A. Narcissist.
Anyway, The Meeting finally ended around 11:37. And then I had to work at 2:00. When Frankie dropped me off I said, "I don't think I'm going to make it through this shift. Please keep your phone on." Shortly after clocking in I texted Jenn about the possibility of letting Omar close for me. She didn't respond. but as soon as she could she showed up in person and said, "I'm not ignoring you." (I really appreciate this. Obviously I realize that she is fucking busy.) She advised that Omar should not close, but also encouraged me to leave early anyway. It was going to be a chill night with few dishes, and Chunk and Blair were both totally supportive. They both let me vent about Tory, too. He really is the only reason the workplace is a little bit toxic. ONLY REASON.
So I clocked out at 7:55, and then Frankie drove around so I could cry and vent, and at some point I took two of my special sleeping pills (note: Frankie says that I am Chunk's favorite, and the fact that he gave me these for free kind of supports her theory) and slept until around 5:00. I realized that it would be one thousand percent easier to continue to do a great job if he would just simply never speak to me again, but of course I cannot actually ask for that. Even though there really is very little need for him to talk to me. Other people could totally tell me about any extra work he wants me to get done. But no, I'll just have to find ways to help myself feel safe around him.
(This didn't occur to me until yesterday morning, but The Meeting made me hardcore associate Tory with David; when I mentioned this to Frankie she was like, "Well, yes.")
Such as: In addition to the knife in my left pocket, I will start keeping a lighter & a blind bag Pinkie Pie in my right pocket. I already blast my music as often as possible, so I will simply continue to do that. Whenever I walk by his office, whether or not he is in there, I will throw a quick banishing spell at it. I can easily draw sigils in the air whenever I want. My bag already has the mint green bunny Mixling and my Sailor Jupiter keychain (plus both of my backup knives), but I think I will try to add at least one more toy to be a good luck charm slash ward. And when I say "at least one more toy," it will probably be another Mixling.
Anyway! Monday was one of the worst days I've ever lived through, but yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a while. Since I was already awake I got a lot done, including my first load of laundry since my new pods got delivered. I even went down to the workout room and spent twenty minutes on the bike before taking a shower. Around 10 or 11 I was in the TV room when she showed up for reading time, but then decided we should send off a Walmart order first. So we did that, and by the time we were done I was feeling my RSO and could not keep my eyes open, so instead of reading I took a glorious nap on the couch.
Shortly after my nap, we took off! On the drive we talked a bunch of shit about Tory, but also talked a lot about staying focused on the money. As much as we both hate him (and by the way, it's not just us, not even just F&B - people from every department can sense how toxic he is), we really might come back for winter because we don't want to move and, obviously, the rooms here are fucking hexcellent, as are the views and the quiet and the animals.
As often happens, our first stop was Wendy's. Then Goodwill, because Frankie had a return, but for once neither of us bought anything. At Elevated I bought two more disposable vapes (orange Maui Wowie and red Strawberry Cheesecake, so now I've tried every color), some fudge, and a peanut butter dream bar. Then we did our Walmart pickup, then stopped in Livingston for gas and Albertson's, and that was it! A much faster trip than we usually do (Goodwill usually takes a long time because Frankie browses and she is not decisive). After we got home and put everything away, I tried my new Strawberry Cheesecake vape, and then we watched some Gilmore Girls before Frankie had to go to bed, and then I watched a little more and passed out on the couch until a little before 4:20.
Anyway, The Meeting finally ended around 11:37. And then I had to work at 2:00. When Frankie dropped me off I said, "I don't think I'm going to make it through this shift. Please keep your phone on." Shortly after clocking in I texted Jenn about the possibility of letting Omar close for me. She didn't respond. but as soon as she could she showed up in person and said, "I'm not ignoring you." (I really appreciate this. Obviously I realize that she is fucking busy.) She advised that Omar should not close, but also encouraged me to leave early anyway. It was going to be a chill night with few dishes, and Chunk and Blair were both totally supportive. They both let me vent about Tory, too. He really is the only reason the workplace is a little bit toxic. ONLY REASON.
So I clocked out at 7:55, and then Frankie drove around so I could cry and vent, and at some point I took two of my special sleeping pills (note: Frankie says that I am Chunk's favorite, and the fact that he gave me these for free kind of supports her theory) and slept until around 5:00. I realized that it would be one thousand percent easier to continue to do a great job if he would just simply never speak to me again, but of course I cannot actually ask for that. Even though there really is very little need for him to talk to me. Other people could totally tell me about any extra work he wants me to get done. But no, I'll just have to find ways to help myself feel safe around him.
(This didn't occur to me until yesterday morning, but The Meeting made me hardcore associate Tory with David; when I mentioned this to Frankie she was like, "Well, yes.")
Such as: In addition to the knife in my left pocket, I will start keeping a lighter & a blind bag Pinkie Pie in my right pocket. I already blast my music as often as possible, so I will simply continue to do that. Whenever I walk by his office, whether or not he is in there, I will throw a quick banishing spell at it. I can easily draw sigils in the air whenever I want. My bag already has the mint green bunny Mixling and my Sailor Jupiter keychain (plus both of my backup knives), but I think I will try to add at least one more toy to be a good luck charm slash ward. And when I say "at least one more toy," it will probably be another Mixling.
Anyway! Monday was one of the worst days I've ever lived through, but yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a while. Since I was already awake I got a lot done, including my first load of laundry since my new pods got delivered. I even went down to the workout room and spent twenty minutes on the bike before taking a shower. Around 10 or 11 I was in the TV room when she showed up for reading time, but then decided we should send off a Walmart order first. So we did that, and by the time we were done I was feeling my RSO and could not keep my eyes open, so instead of reading I took a glorious nap on the couch.
Shortly after my nap, we took off! On the drive we talked a bunch of shit about Tory, but also talked a lot about staying focused on the money. As much as we both hate him (and by the way, it's not just us, not even just F&B - people from every department can sense how toxic he is), we really might come back for winter because we don't want to move and, obviously, the rooms here are fucking hexcellent, as are the views and the quiet and the animals.
As often happens, our first stop was Wendy's. Then Goodwill, because Frankie had a return, but for once neither of us bought anything. At Elevated I bought two more disposable vapes (orange Maui Wowie and red Strawberry Cheesecake, so now I've tried every color), some fudge, and a peanut butter dream bar. Then we did our Walmart pickup, then stopped in Livingston for gas and Albertson's, and that was it! A much faster trip than we usually do (Goodwill usually takes a long time because Frankie browses and she is not decisive). After we got home and put everything away, I tried my new Strawberry Cheesecake vape, and then we watched some Gilmore Girls before Frankie had to go to bed, and then I watched a little more and passed out on the couch until a little before 4:20.
