ryanreacts

Yesterday's Orientation & Forced Fun was so dreadful that Frankie and I both said "Fuck this, I'm out" shortly after lunch. We made it home around 2:00, and as soon as I could I took two of Chunk's extra-special super-strong sleeping pills. They knocked me out for the rest of the afternoon slash early evening, then I woke up and finally watched 2022's Beauty and the Beast: A 30th Celebration, then took two more of Chunk's sleeping pills at a reasonable time and got a great night of sleep.

I'm not sure what time I woke up this morning, but it was definitely before noon, because I remember refusing to get out of bed and start doing stuff until then. But then, oh yes, I got out of bed and did stuff! In no particular order, I vacuumed ALL of my carpet (except for under the bed, nightstand, comfy chair, end table, and desk), including the closet. I did a load of laundry, of course, just like I do every weekend. I deep-cleaned my bathroom sink & mirror. I organized. I did another load of laundry.

Most importantly, I finally realized that the painting I'm not allowed to move has a frame, and that frame can be used to display tiny toys! I put all ten of my Nebulous Stars figures up there, and they're very precarious but so far no one has fallen off!

I also realized that I can put other small toys on top of my door frame! Right now I have nine Cloudees, four Mixlings, and nine Doorables up there. Almost as soon as I finished placing them all, it occurred to me that it's actually very appropriate to have Doorables over my door, so I might need to re-think this display space. Actually, there's no "might' about it. One Cloudee has already fallen off, and Doorables are much more stable because they're a lot smaller. I might leave those four Mixlings up there, but the Cloudees need to go somewhere else and then that space will be available for more Doorables.

Oh yeah, and my room came with one more painting I'm not allowed to move! So maybe its frame could also be used to display some small toys.

Target and Amazon are both delivering other orders very soon, but of course I have $50-$60 in my carts. One thing in my Amazon cart is the Teen to Super Life Kara doll, who I should really go ahead and order now because she's only $18. So yes, I have in fact gone ahead and ordered her! Future Me will thank Right Now Me for this later.

I do need to seriously slow down on buying toys in general and dolls in particular, BUT my mental "might buy any payday now" list still includes Goreganizer Draculaura, Frankie's Day Out, Clawdeen 1.0, Abbey, Twyla, Toralei, and President Barbie. I also love all four Barbie Dream Besties, though they have not yet been released in this country. And I'd really like to buy six or more Mixlings sometime soonish.

And of course I could list several more toys I would buy if I didn't have to worry about money, but since I do, the only things I'm allowed to spend money on are dolls, Mixlings, and maybe something that's a really good deal, like Teen to Super Life Kara for $18. She's usually at least twenty-something dollars whenever I check. Damn, I'm so glad I ordered her for this price.

One thing I thought about doing was moving my altar items into a drawer, you know, so they would be hidden unless I opened the drawer specifically to work magic - or just to look at them. But then I decided, no, I love all of these items so much that I strongly prefer to have them on the desk where I can see them all the time. (Plus, I like that if you're not me you can't necessarily tell that it's an altar. It very much is, but it's an altar hiding in plain sight.)

So I have one entire drawer that is currently not being used for anything, which kind of bugs me a little. Other than that, though? My room has literally never felt as clean, orderly, efficient, and safe as it does right now, thanks to the work I put into it today.

Today was mostly a great day, largely because The Narcissist barely said two words to me . . . until around 7:30. I was in the process of sweeping the floor in staff dining when he felt the need to check in right before he left for the night. Apparently, he wants me to have a talk with him as soon as I clock in tomorrow. He wants to understand me, and wants me to understand him. He wants me to be more efficient about the way I do dishes (which is kind of impossible right now unless he hires another person).

And it's like, I fucking swear to fucking fuck.

YES.

I understand.

Obviously dishes would be much more efficient if "someone" was always running them through the machine as quickly as possible, like, ideally, as soon as they get dropped off.

And, sure, I could do that IF washing dishes was my only daily task. Or, I could do that IF they ever hire more than three dishwashers (one of whom, again, is part-time; he works 24-26 hours Tuesday through Friday) so that MORE THAN ONE PERSON can close every night, and then I can work less hours than I currently fucking have to.

I mean, this is really not complicated.

Why do we keep talking about it?

Oh, but this time he mixed it up a little. Apparently, when sheet pans need to soak because they are gross, I let them soak too long. I should really take care of them a lot sooner than I have been. (It did not occur to him that the longer he talked, the longer I had to let them continue to soak . . .) I don't know if this will be his only recommended efficiency hack, but it was the only one he specifically mentioned today as something we're gonna talk about tomorrow.

But seriously, even if I do get into a habit of only soaking them for twenty minutes or however long he says, that will not create another person or delegate any of my responsibilities to the cooks, will it?

I didn't even take one fucking break today (other than bathroom breaks, which do not count as "taking a break") and was still there for 9.83 hours. If he seriously tries to tell me that the secret is for me to be more efficient and his only suggestion is about soaking sheet fucking pans for less time, I will be seriously tempted to quit on the spot.

Except I can't afford to do that.

Fuck my life.

Monday was one of the worst days of my entire life. The Meeting was such a stupid idea. Maria said the words, "Tory's a dang baby" to us MONTHS AGO. Frankie learned that Tory doesn't listen and does talk in circles MONTHS AGO. Why, oh fucking why, did I actually think that all of my righteous fury would somehow convince him to listen to me? He. Is. A. Narcissist.

Anyway, The Meeting finally ended around 11:37. And then I had to work at 2:00. When Frankie dropped me off I said, "I don't think I'm going to make it through this shift. Please keep your phone on." Shortly after clocking in I texted Jenn about the possibility of letting Omar close for me. She didn't respond. but as soon as she could she showed up in person and said, "I'm not ignoring you." (I really appreciate this. Obviously I realize that she is fucking busy.) She advised that Omar should not close, but also encouraged me to leave early anyway. It was going to be a chill night with few dishes, and Chunk and Blair were both totally supportive. They both let me vent about Tory, too. He really is the only reason the workplace is a little bit toxic. ONLY REASON.

So I clocked out at 7:55, and then Frankie drove around so I could cry and vent, and at some point I took two of my special sleeping pills (note: Frankie says that I am Chunk's favorite, and the fact that he gave me these for free kind of supports her theory) and slept until around 5:00. I realized that it would be one thousand percent easier to continue to do a great job if he would just simply never speak to me again, but of course I cannot actually ask for that. Even though there really is very little need for him to talk to me. Other people could totally tell me about any extra work he wants me to get done. But no, I'll just have to find ways to help myself feel safe around him.

(This didn't occur to me until yesterday morning, but The Meeting made me hardcore associate Tory with David; when I mentioned this to Frankie she was like, "Well, yes.")

Such as: In addition to the knife in my left pocket, I will start keeping a lighter & a blind bag Pinkie Pie in my right pocket. I already blast my music as often as possible, so I will simply continue to do that. Whenever I walk by his office, whether or not he is in there, I will throw a quick banishing spell at it. I can easily draw sigils in the air whenever I want. My bag already has the mint green bunny Mixling and my Sailor Jupiter keychain (plus both of my backup knives), but I think I will try to add at least one more toy to be a good luck charm slash ward. And when I say "at least one more toy," it will probably be another Mixling.

Anyway! Monday was one of the worst days I've ever lived through, but yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a while. Since I was already awake I got a lot done, including my first load of laundry since my new pods got delivered. I even went down to the workout room and spent twenty minutes on the bike before taking a shower. Around 10 or 11 I was in the TV room when she showed up for reading time, but then decided we should send off a Walmart order first. So we did that, and by the time we were done I was feeling my RSO and could not keep my eyes open, so instead of reading I took a glorious nap on the couch.

Shortly after my nap, we took off! On the drive we talked a bunch of shit about Tory, but also talked a lot about staying focused on the money. As much as we both hate him (and by the way, it's not just us, not even just F&B - people from every department can sense how toxic he is), we really might come back for winter because we don't want to move and, obviously, the rooms here are fucking hexcellent, as are the views and the quiet and the animals.

As often happens, our first stop was Wendy's. Then Goodwill, because Frankie had a return, but for once neither of us bought anything. At Elevated I bought two more disposable vapes (orange Maui Wowie and red Strawberry Cheesecake, so now I've tried every color), some fudge, and a peanut butter dream bar. Then we did our Walmart pickup, then stopped in Livingston for gas and Albertson's, and that was it! A much faster trip than we usually do (Goodwill usually takes a long time because Frankie browses and she is not decisive). After we got home and put everything away, I tried my new Strawberry Cheesecake vape, and then we watched some Gilmore Girls before Frankie had to go to bed, and then I watched a little more and passed out on the couch until a little before 4:20.

The good news is that I got paid; the bad news is that after rent it was only $1,180. That doesn’t feel like enough for a 97-hour pay period. Sigh.


 I’ll still treat myself to Venus soon, but other than that I really need to spend as little money as possible until my next check.

 

Blergh.

1. Introduction & Rules (there is really only one rule: "While I am talking, everyone who is not me has to shut up and listen")

2. Ryan's Daily Responsibilities

3. Is anypony NOT happy with the current location of the cast iron? Do I need to take any across the street? If so, WHICH ONES?

4. Dish chaos

5. Michael

6. The Ranch

7. Little ways to make my life easier

8. Servers

9. Mental Health

Target got me again. I just spent $50 on cleaning products to earn a $15 gift card, which I am going to put toward my purchase of VENUS 

 Today is my Sunday, so my only goals are to get stoned and get chores done! I've had RSO, I am vaping throughout my waking hours, and after completing all of my usual weekend laundry I decided I might as well throw in my pillowcases, sheets, and big blanket as well, just for the hell of it. I've also washed dishes at least twice because I've been eating a lot and I don't like them to accumulate in the sink for too long before I just quickly wash them and leave them on the rack to dry.

Amazon claims that multiple pakidges have been delivered in the last few days, and Target claims that their pakidge will be delivered today, SO there is a chance that when Frankie comes home from work today she will text me to say, "I left your pakidges in the mud room" and this great day will get even better.

This Target order was fun because I spent $50 on "home care" products and got a $15 gift card which I am thinking I will probably use for that MLP three-pack they have.

The night before last, my Friday, I had to work with Michael again. He refused to go home at 10:00 EVEN THOUGH his favorite thing to complain about was working late, so as soon as I finally got home I ate some RSO and then vaped a normal amount and then took two of those sleeping pills that Chunk gave me a few weeks ago, like the second or third time we worked together during this season. He had warned me to save them for my day off because they made him sleep for nine hours, and then six more hours right after he decided not to wake up yet.

I tried one of these pills last weekend and got some good sleep for less than six hours.

But the night before last, I took two. I'm not sure what time I passed out, but other than briefly stumbling my way up to pee, I was GONE until 2:42 PM. And I probably could have slept even more, if I hadn't read a few texts from Frankie, sent throughout the day, one of which said she was going to Bozeman at some point today and asked if I was coming with her. And I really did want to go to Elevated to buy more disposable vapes. Which I did! I chose Blueberry Muffin and Forbidden Fruit. So now I have green, blue, and pink. Next time I want to get Strawberry Cheesecake (red) and Maui Wowie (orange), and that will be all five colors from this particular brand. 

Oh, Target texted to say that my order has been delivered. I could ask Frankie to check the warehouse on her way home from work, but if I do nothing it'll probably get dropped off in Jenn's office tomorrow or the next day, and it is mostly cleaning products I want to start using at work anyway, so that would be the most convenient thing. Although, in general, I think it's funny that they deliver pakidges to Jenn's office, since they have to pass staff housing to drive there. Would it be that hard for them to drop stuff off in Rodeo? No one actually lives in that building, it's just a big kitchen & living room with two bathrooms and multiple closets and a huge foyer. So it would be perfect for pakidge drop-off! But what do I know? I am merely a humble kitchen witch in the middle of nowhere.

Another thing we did yesterday was go to Goodwill, where I found two super-soft pairs of pajama pants, nine books, and a Batman lunchbox with its own cape. I can't seem to find a Superman version, but did find a Wonder Woman one. Which, as much as I love her, I don't want - because she usually doesn't wear a cape.

Anyway, Batman is currently holding my edibles. Heh. One pack of gummies, one pack of peanut butter fudge. Sometime soon it would be fun to go to Elevated and stock up on edibles (you're allowed to buy up to eight at a time), but I've been having so much fun with my vapes that I don't actually need edibles that badly right now.

I just finished opening the dolls! Clawdeen 2.0 was the fourth of four. Obviously I had not forgotten or anything, but I was and still am somewhat overwhelmed-in-a-good-way by how good it feels to have new toys in my home. I'm severely excited about the Laura and Heath I ordered yesterday. I guess once they arrive I'll be allowed to order Venus?

I also finished "shopping." Meaning, shopped around for the lowest prices on several toys I'm currently thinking about spending money on; also meaning, made a list of non-toy things I need to purchase sooner than later, like $200 worth of books and other essentials.

I have not watched the X-Men 97 finale yet, but only because re-watching the first nine episodes is taking a lot longer than anticipated. Which is fine, obviously, but I'm just saying that when I sat down and started episode one last night I was planning to watch six or seven episodes before falling asleep, then the last three or four this afternoon, and I would have finished the finale at least an hour ago. Maybe even two hours ago.

So far I have not watched any Doctor Who today, but I absolutely will after I finally finish X-Men 97!

Will I actually go to the gym? I could much more easily do push-ups in my bathroom, is all I'm saying. In the gym any ranch employee could walk in at any moment, which makes me nervous. I know that's stupid, but knowing it's stupid doesn't mean it doesn't make me nervous. Ugh.

Have not read a book today, but whenever I do make time for it, I have at least six or seven great choices to, well, choose from.

Yeah, that's just about everything left on the list that I haven't crossed off yet. Current time is 2:29 PM.

I have a list of approximately twenty toys I am seriously thinking about spending money on right now, so I'm looking around for best prices.

1. President Barbie!
Amazon seems to have the best deal on her, which is still $50 even though the movie came out ten months ago. She is worth it.

2. Goreganizer Draculaura!
Currently $19.87 on Amazon or Walmart.

3. Frankie's Day Out!
$23.31 on Amazon

4. Frankie 2.0!
$24.84 on Walmart or Amazon

5. Lagoona 2.0!
$24.84 on Amazon or Walmart

6. Amped Up Frankie!
$25 on Amazon

7. VENUS!
$24.84 on Walmart. I'm trying to wait until at least next weekend to order her, but I don't know, might be slightly sooner.

8. Toralei!
$18.08 on Amazon

9. Abbey!
$16.59 on Amazon

10. Twyla!
$23 on Walmart

11. Fuggler Vinyl Figures!
eBay has a few at decent prices . . .

12. Disney Encanto Ultimate Madrigal Family Dolls Gift Set Includes 12 Dolls [Amazon Exclusive]!
Nothing to research since it's an Amazon Exclusive. The $150 price tag is quite fair when you break it down to $12.50 per doll. I definitely want to buy this set sooner than later, but am not allowed to order it until June.

13. Disney Store Official Story Dolls!
Most of these are $30 on Amazon. I love them and would like to have them all, but right now my top three are Mirabel, Moana, and Ariel. Also really want Belle, Jasmine, and Aurora.

14. Mixlings!
These two-packs and these singles. I still want the hot pink bunny. The mint green one lives in the bag that goes with me every time I leave the house.

15. Cave Club Dino Baby Crystals!
Many of these are available for cheap on both eBay and Mercari.

16. My Little Pony!
I still really want this, which I would already have if it hadn't been out of stock yesterday.

17. Q Posket WinxFate!
Looks like the three I want are all currently $25 or less on eBay.

18. Great Scarrier Reef!
Kala is somehow only $40 on Amazon. For everyone else I'd probably go to eBay or Mercari. Kala is my favorite, but I want them all except for Clawdeen and Draculaura. So that's Toralei, Lagoona, Frankie, Posea, and Peri & Pearl. None of whom are high priority at the moment, since I'm so focused on G3, but I used to have this entire line (again: except for Clawdeen and Draculaura) and really miss them.

 So far, I have done four Things on my list.

1. BREAKFAST
I was so pleasantly stoned last night that my body had no interest in sleep, so I figured I could watch X-Men 97 all night to get ready for the finale - but after three episodes I had to get up and walk to Rodeo so I could scramble six eggs! I also had a few purple & green grapes and banana slices. Plus orange juice. 
Right after I sat down to take a picture of my cooked eggs for Frankie, I realized I had forgotten to add any yogurt to them. They were still very good, but could have been way better! 

2. make tuna salad
Oh yes, right after breakfast I threw together four cans of tuna, half of an onion, the rest of the relish, dill and other spices, and several tablespoons of plain Greek yogurt. I couldn't find any mayonnaise, which I completely forgot to order at Target. Oops. I'm kind of worried Frankie will hate it because she fucking loves mayo. 

3. take out trash
Obviously, after making breakfast and tuna salad I had quite a few dirty dishes, which I washed with my new sponges and my favorite dish soap and then also scrubbed down both sinks and the entirety of the central countertops. Many germs were killed, and now that kitchen smells great FOR FREE, heh.
But yes, of course the last thing I did was take out the trash. Both cans in the Rodeo kitchen, plus the one in our dorm's kitchen-ette.


4. get stone'd
One thing I was particularly excited to buy during yesterday's trip to Elevated was a disposable vape. They had five or six color-coded strains, and I immediately chose Green Crack because it's a fun uplifting sativa flavor of stone'd. It is. It is both fun and uplifting. I forgot that it also makes me productive as fuck. If not deep cleaning the kitchen like I did today, I might have re-organized my entire closet. My point is that getting stone'd is making me even more motivated to get shit done today. Ten more things on my list, or nine if you ignore the one with a question mark.